I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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