She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
