Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
