So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
