Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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