Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
