in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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