As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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