I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
