You really coming over, don't trick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
