I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
