so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my being single is dangerous.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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