ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
