Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
