So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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