imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'd cum for enchiladas.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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