PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Randomize
