your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
