we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
