ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
