how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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