She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
