YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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