I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
