Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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