so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
