That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
