i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
smell my finger.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
