It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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