I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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