Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
