I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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