Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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