just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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