ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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