you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
