What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
my poor anus
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
