The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
