there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
