just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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