ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
