Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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