My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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