i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
