I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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