Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
