Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
