She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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