i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
