She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
