Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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