OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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