I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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