No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
