We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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