I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
