All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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