who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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